Chasing The Fish
Chasing The Fish Privacy Policy
Your Personal Information
Chasing The Fish will not give, sell or rent your email address or any personally identifiable information about you to any third party without your permission.
But Enough About You
The PuppetMackerels require privacy. We have a motto that cuts right to the heart of the matter: "When the boat's a-rockin', get the hell out of the way." Actually, this is the first some of us have heard of that motto and frankly we're a little disappointed in the people who wrote this copy. However, that does not stop us from continuing on with our demands to never be disturbed, whether or not there really is a boat, and regardless of the state of its rockage. This is how dedicated we are to our privacy.
Give Us What We Want
The PuppetMackerels will not tolerate disrespect. Disrespecting the PuppetMackerels is discouraged. Invading the PuppetMackerels' privacy is disrespect, and will not be tolerated. Tolerating the PuppetMackerels' invasion is encouraged. Disrespecting the PuppetMackerels' privates is strongly discouraged.
The Rings of Privacy
We understand that it may be hard for you to resist strong urges to invade our privacy. That is why we have set up a system of deadly magical rings which surround us and protect us with layers upon layers of fantastical magic privacy. The rings make it successively harder and harder to get to us until eventually, to enter the last ring and bask briefly in our very presence, you would have to be a half-blind, orphaned, three-legged, left-handed dentist, who has halitosis, an ex who wants to get back together with you, and a pet goldfish named "Sparky." Also, one of the rings is made of fire and there is another that's invisible and kind of floats around randomly, and you never know where it is until it bumps into something and makes a noise, and you really don't want to even stick a hand into that one because it's just brutal and what's that behind you?!
There Are So Magical Rings
We swear, we're not making this stuff up. Why would we lie about something so terribly serious? The rings are real, man! And don't let them tell you any different.
The First Rule of Privacy
Rule #1: Do not question the first rule of privacy.
The Second Rule of Privacy
Rule #2: Find a new rule-writer who is coherent and start over.
The Golden Flange
No, not really.
a line you cannot throw, a boat you cannot row